Tested Faith…

With Mother’s Day quickly approaching I am reminded of just how much I long to be a mother and how much my faith in God has been tested. The road of infertility is one that has been long, hard and most time silent. Silence is deafening, and is very hard thing to handle and for me was not an option.

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According to the CDC ” Yes. About 6% of married women 15–44 years of age in the United States are unable to get pregnant after one year of unprotected sex (infertility).  Also, about 12% of women 15–44 years of age in the United States have difficulty getting pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to term, regardless of marital status (impaired fecundity).”

That means 1 out of every 8 couples is battling infertility in one way or another. I know, since Jesse and I opened up about our infertility struggles, more than a few of my friends sent private messages that I was not alone that they too were also facing the heartache of wanting a child but being unable to conceive. We hope that by sharing our story it may give others hope in God and comfort in that they are not alone, as well as add to our prayer warriors for us.

There have been many times through out this journey that I have cried to God and asked “WHY ME?” “Why am I being denied that opportunity to have a baby where there are horrible people out there doing horrible things to children” “What have I done that has made God mad at me and not giving me a baby”

It is in these moments that I have to realize that God’s plan and my plan are not the same. As much as I pray/want/wish to be a mother to a baby here on earth, it just not his timing yet.

There are  a few scriptures that have helped me along that way

“For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4:13

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” – Romans 12:12

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.” -Philippians 4:6

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

As hard as this struggle with infertility has been, I know that we would not have made it this far without our trust in God. There are still many stressful days ahead as we continue treatments and exploring and praying over all of our options. But we know one way or another, we will have a family. If you or someone you know is going through infertility, be kind, pray for them, hug them, be there for them if they need a good cry, but please DO NOT EVER say “Just relax”. If you want to know why just ask someone who is going through treatments.

So in closing, I want to say Happy Mother’s Day to all the AMAZING moms out there. To my friends who are moms or will be moms soon… Please know that, yes, it was hard for me to hear that you were pregnant and most likely I cried, but know that I love you and can only hope one day you will get to share in my good news. And a prayer for those of us who long to be mothers.

mothers prayer

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